When the butthurt draws a toothbrush and thinks it can win the war

[Warning: this post contains semi-explicit language in the form of proxy swearwords]

So, Aegis had some rather haughty things to say about the Philippines.

But fork that. What amuses me more are these butthurt cretins who’ve taken it to themselves to defend the status of Philippine English over other Asian English dialects. Who the fork said anything bad about the quality of our English, anyway? And why does it even matter?

One comment read:

“Wether [sic] they like it or not, angat ang Pinoy sa English accent, kaya preferred tayo ng BPO ng US at Europe”. (Whether they like it or not, Filipinos are still above the rest when it comes to their English [accents], which is why BPO companies in the US and Europe prefer us.)

The video talks about faulty infrastructure, our unstable climate, even the forking government which we all forking hate, and you choose to bite back with “but I speak better English”? For forking serious? Even if we were, collectively, better English speakers, so the fork what?

And about this accent thing, heaven knows for all these years I’ve worked as a language instructor, I’ve seen and heard far too many of my own pitiful countrymen who are all accent and no syntax. Newsflash: it’s not about the accent; it’s how you use it!

Of course, you don’t need to take my word for it. Let’s hear it from this guy:

“Since when malaysian english is better than Filipino english…???”

Well, since that comment, apparently.

Guys. Pls. Stahp.

From: weknowmemes

From: weknowmemes

I guess, what I’m trying to say is, if you want to win a war, bring artillery and enough ammo. You can’t win a war with a forking toothbrush.

Advertisements

Unexpected turns

[For my 299th post, I’m going to pretend that it hasn’t been 4 months since I last updated. I never claimed to be a persistent writer, anyway.]

So, last time I talked about how thankful I was for the job I had been offered after a long, bitter winter of unemployment.

Well … that didn’t really work out; didn’t even last 2 months. I actually have no clue why. It seemed perfect: I was doing what I did best (teaching language), I had intelligent people for both learners and colleagues, and it was less than an hour away from my place. But, I was still sad; I still felt lonely, and I still don’t bloody know why.

I don’t regret anything, of course. All of what I said here still rings true: it wasn’t a very long stay, but I was able to reflect on my life a little bit more. Maybe I left my winter wonderland too soon? Who knows.

What’s important is where I am now, which is a relatively happier place. I took an unexpected turn, and I’m back at my old job from last year. Who would’ve thought they’d invite me back? Indeed, the mantra/hashtag still holds: #StillQuiteLucky.

Google hosted image from gods-know-where

Google hosted image from gods-know-where

In 2015, I hope to finally cross over to the ‘new era’, but for now, I wait; for now, I prepare.

On self-worth

Today, I was reminded by my seerapist of one of the most important things I’ve learnt in my 7 years working: self-worth.

iloveme

This whole time that’s what you’ve learned: self-worth; the ability to detect what a good deal is from a bad deal. If you’re earning 20 grand for the effort you’re putting in now, why not earn 20 grand with less effort in a different job?

There’s no point in working hard or sucking it up if it doesn’t lead anywhere. You have nothing to prove to anyone. You can endure a job for a full year, but if you get out of it empty-handed, other than the satisfaction that you were able to endure a year in a shitty job–that makes you strong, sure, but it also makes you kind of stupid. Life’s too short for that. Remember, the only real money you have while you are alive is time. It’s like beating with a fork vs beating with an eggbeater. You’ll get the same result but one is more efficient than the other. The quicker you’re able to reach your desires in your lifetime the richer you are. Wealth is speed; speed is wealth. These are things you’ve internalized over the past few years, and now you have the internal compass to help guide you, something that should’ve tingled your intuition a long time ago.

Remember, remember, the Kalends of January

Obviously, this was intended to be posted on the Kalends of January. Then, we had another New Year, but I forgot about that, too. We supposedly had another one in March, but I let that slip again

Luckily, the Mestizo calendar gods have given me a fourth chance to do this today, the 2nd of April, not too far from another ancient New Year.

 


Dear me:

I know you don’t normally do resolutions–and this is certainly not one of those mushy, unrealistic resolutions to start a year–but words of advice from someone who’s always been there for you can never be a bad thing. Here they are in no particular order:

  • Plan. Plans don’t always work, but planning gets your head straight for the important stuff. Also, don’t just have one; have several of them. Life is rarely linear, and following a single path can sometimes lead to a dead-end.
  • Never lose sight of your goals. If and when you do, pause to realign. Even if it takes you half a year’s time; you need to realign.
  • Question and examine your goals as go along. They change as you change, too.
  • Each day, be more “you” and who you want to be. Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you’ll ever have. Don’t let yourself down for anyone else.
  • Let your hair down more often. Let it go. Even if you have to tell this to yourself in 25 languages.
  • Smile more. You might feel just as happy whether you smile or not (because you’re Ti like that), but smiling changes the people around you, too. I’m sure you’d be happier to know that they’re happy.
  • Do not be discouraged by failure. I know you’re an incredibly brutal perfectionist, but you need to learn to let these feelings go. Advance through trial and error. Mistakes are best avoided by precaution, but if it’s the fear of making them that’s preventing you from exploring and expanding your comfort zone, to hell with that! Just do it.
  • Talk to people. Please. You need to get out there and meet new people. You can keep your small circle of trusted souls, but expand your network. Expand your horizon.
  • Love yourself a little more. Self-pity isn’t going to get you anywhere good or far. A lot of people probably love you more than you know. Do them and yourself a favour by loving yourself more.

I’m sure there’s more, but these should do it for now.

Warm regards,

Me/You

427110_513890661970095_1699119063_n

Fuck You, Hit-and-Runners

One second, they’re sitting across you in the jeepney. Next thing you know, they’re lying on the ground, fighting for their lives. The sight stained my eyes. The sound haunted my ears. My heart had broken into many pieces. How quickly things change in a matter of seconds.

White-Flower-Wallpaper-159

Flowers for the couple

They weren’t my friends. I didn’t know them in any meaningful way. They were just a random couple carrying a box full of tomatoes, preparing to start their day at the market. Until they got hit and run over by some mindless prick who didn’t even bother to stop. He was probably under the influence. It was a Friday night/Saturday morning, after all.

You can be the most careful pedestrian in the world and still die on the road because some arsehole decides to drive drunk and ignore their conscience altogether. Fuck you, drunk drivers. Fuck you, hit-and-runners. Fuck you all very much.

don-t-keep-calm-and-fuck-this-fuck-that-fuck-you-fuck-off-4

 

Today in thanks: 26th of the 3rd, 2014

This is embarrassing. Between January 1st and today, my only post has been about horny, fruitarian werewolves. It sounds like a good time to be grateful today. (I know, that sounded so cheesy, but whatever.)

So, today, I am thankful for:

  • My new job. Yes, my winter has ended. To auspicious beginnings!
  • That I waited all those months, not jumping on just any job I could find, staying true to the Big D’s counsel. Hail the God who comes, the God who answers, the God who delivers!
  • That I passed my bilingual test at work! I know my job doesn’t really require me to be fluent, but just knowing that I can pull off a decent conversation in French makes me happy. Now, I must work on my Irish and brush up on my Spanish!
  • That I survived the first week at work (which is always the hardest). I actually almost went crazy for the first few days, but with a little help, I stayed true to my long-term goals and focused on them. I’ve still got a few questions that need answering, but I’m thankful, I’m in a better position now to answer them.
  • That I trusted in myself that I could do it. I know, I can be an unforgiving perfectionist sometimes, but a little self-love can do wonders for me. Never forget to believe in yourself, mate.
  • That I didn’t waste all those jobless months; that I put them to good use. Times spent learning never go to waste.
  • Hermês, Dionysos, and Apollôn, and the gracious spirits around me: always and for ever my succour.
  • My friends and family: I will always be thankful for each one of you. You are my life and I love you.
558791_462543880458055_1228648677_n

May I always remember the Wolf in me.

Of snow-fearing, blueberry-eating, iron-using werewolves

I don’t normally share my dreams on my blog, but this one was particularly entertaining. I hope I do it justice!

In my dream, I lived either near or on a mountain range that felt a bit like the Alps. I say this because of the Matterhorn-like peak and the seemingly Celto-Germanic people. There was snow everywhere, so it was probably winter. (Or not! Does it always snow on the Alps?)

Switzerland Zermatt Matterhorn

Brian Jannsen’s stunning shot of the Matterhorn

Switzerland Zermatt Alpine Houses on hill

Our settlement looked something like this Alpine village

Enter werewolves. There was a whole pack of them and they wanted in. But, for some reason, the snow prevented the wolves from entering the mountain-village. They were afraid of it like it was silver.

Now, it wasn’t clear whether I was with the wolves or the townsfolk–I could’ve been both, like a liminal figure–but, I was there at the border when the wolves pointed out to the humans that they were building something to penetrate the village. They pointed to the Iron Mountain and how its peak was untouched by the snow; bald and black amidst a sea of white. It felt as if the mountain iron could melt through the snow or dig the wolves their way in.

Scene shifted to our old house: I was there with the wolves, and we were, well, “making out”. (They were in human form, so it wasn’t exactly furry porn, sorry.) Suddenly, out came the alpha wolf with his secret weapon: magical blueberries. He picked one of us to eat them. It seemed as if the blueberries would make the chosen wolf stronger, so he could make an assault on the village. (I’m sure it wasn’t just to eat the townsfolk. An old feud perhaps?) Anyway, so the alpha fed this special warrior-wolf the magical blueberries. By kissing him. On the mouth. Like the French do. It didn’t take long (thank goodness!) before we all noticed that he was getting stronger. Getting bigger. Getting angrier.

So, as I always do in dreams, I ran away as fast as I could. I managed to run up the mountain-village and cross the snow. My capacity to enter the village and man-cuddle with the wolves, I guess, confirms my hybrid alliances. And that’s when it got really terrifying. The ground shook, and you could hear the howling and growling grow louder each second. The blueberry-eating werewolf became so huge he could walk through the village and cause avalanches.

UBE_122_036

Gigantic lycanthrope from Underworld Awakening

UBE_202B_276

Oh, mine was definitely bigger than a car.

For some reason, he wasn’t looking for the townsfolk this time. He was looking for me and the other wolves. He buried the mountain-village in rock and snow just to chase us out.

We tried to hide in the cities, but he caught up with us. We tried hiding in hospitals and malls and crowded places, but he seemed to be only interested in us. Why he would suddenly want to, I haven’t got a clue.

So, I hid in a hospital where there were plenty of people, but I felt he could still smell me. He could’ve easily torn the walls down, and I knew he would eventually. I ran and hid as deep into the hospital as I could. He was getting close to finding me when my dream ended.

Yes, I have these often, and the weird part is that I can’t say I hate having them.