These past few
days weeks months have been quite introspective (and stressful) for me and I have been very thankful that I’ve got two Dionysian friends who have guided me through and through. I’ll talk more about in the succeeding days, but for now, let me share you what Dionysos advised me to do in the next six months via Sannion:
Your worship is beautiful; your ancestors are pleased. But you don’t laugh enough. Go on a journey. It will destroy your life as you know it. Take it.
There He is again with making me smile and shiver at the same time. Hail, Breaker of shackles! You never fail to unbullshit my bullshit. Touché.
Then there’s Mad Light with his runes and cards mixed with psychiatry. This is what he read for me:
This first card is the Fear Dorcha. This is your past and it’s ongoing now. There is an inner shadow, an inner conflict, a hidden part of you that you have been ignoring. Now is the time to ask the questions: “Who am I really?” and “What do I want to become?”. These questions may be hard to answer, because most of the time who you think you are, isn’t who you really are. What you think you want, you don’t really want. But, in the back of your mind, back of your heart, you know there’s something wonky going on, that’s why you’ve been ignoring these questions. Because you might not like hearing the answer. And because you might have to make changes in your life when you realise that.
The card being in the past suggests that this has been going on for a while. Feel around for it in yourself. You’ll understand in time.
Your present card is a reversed Green Lady. Every plant knows how it must grow. When you plant a seed in soil, it will become a squash. It does not ask if it will become an apple tree or something. But reversed: “Twisted, the energy of growth goes awry, and we move in directions that are either dead ends or simply inappropriate for us. Or perhaps we try to shift from one extreme to another, between growth and stasis, which only yields twisted, stunted, and warped results”.
Your last card is the Soul Shrinker. Beware of malicious gossip and curses flying between people. Of bad criticism. Soon you will need to counteract this with saying nice things, not only to others, but also to yourself. Critical and malicious thoughts become curses when the target accepts the negativity into themselves. That’s how curses work, and soon, you’ll have to counteract it with positivity. Don’t let yourself curse yourself; don’t bring yourself down.
Your past card was the card of the fairy version of the Sphinx. She asks the riddle of identity and the riddle of the self. Basically her appearance in this reading is that there are self-identity issues that you need to face, that have been plaguing you for a while. You have to face them before you can move forward. This just goes back to what I was saying before: ‘don’t make decisions out of fear‘. Make decisions that lead you somewhere. But, the sphinx warns that you might have to think again. Are you making your decision out of fear, or out of reaching a goal? And what’s even more confusing is even if you’re trying to reach a goal, did you set your goal out of fear? One example is revenge. It’s a goal set out of anger and hate, but it’s a goal, nonetheless. So you have to make sure that the goals that you have set aren’t made out of negativity, but because they’ll make you happy.
Also, what’s even more confusing is that the goals you have set in the past may not be goals that you desire now. All of these questions should be answered by you. It’s a riddle. (Well, you don’t need to totally answer everything, but it will help to know where you’re headed.)
Know who you are, who you really are. The first card is telling you you’re “in denial” about certain issues in yourself. So you have to resolve those.
Now, the Green Woman: When you walk in the city you’ll find plants struggling to grow they’ll grow in the pavement cracks. They’ll trail on the walls of buildings, and even in the most inhospitable environments, you’ll find plants. How did they even get to, say, the 10th floor of a building? Where the ground is fertile, they will grow. As seeds, they can’t choose where they land, but wherever they land, they will try to grow no matter what, they will try to live; they will try to thrive. They will always try to find ways to nourish themselves and eat sunlight. This is what you must do, but the twisted energy of the green lady says that you are indeed growing… but not… in the way that you should. In other words: You are a pumpkin seed trying to grow into a pine tree, and that’s just not going to work. You might think that you want to become a pine tree out of fear, or maybe just because everyone’s a pine seed, but you can’t change the fact that you are a pumpkin seed.
Just listen for now, at the end of the reading, there will be one message. Remember, there is a way to be a pumpkin in a world full of pines. And don’t expect to grow quickly; plants are patient too, you know.
The last card warns you of criticism. Well, bad criticism. This will happen in the future: don’t let criticism bring you down, just accept it, and use it as a stepping stone to become better. Be careful of gossip and do not curse yourself. Try to have more self-esteem, and instead of bringing yourself down, pull yourself up. You can twist negative comments, so they pull you up instead of bring you down.
The next time you hear in the back of your mind: “You’re worthless! You’re unskilled!” — tell yourself: “No, I have worth, and what skill I don’t have, I can work on”. Something like that. Don’t take criticism personally.
But, there are connotations of gossip, as well. Don’t take it personally. The jobs that have rejected you? You are just not what they needed and they’re just not what you need!
But anyway, this happens in the future, so just be prepared for it. In the meantime, work on your past and present issues.
Thank Dionysos for Dionysian friends.